Have I lived a good life?


It’s a question I’ve heard countless times sitting at the bedside of someone who’s nearing the end of their life. It's often asked in silence, hanging heavy in the room, “Have I lived a good life?”

If you’re asking that question, you’re not alone. And if you’re still here reading this, you’ve got time to keep answering it.

Living a good life isn’t about perfection. It’s not about racking up achievements or making sure you never stumble. It’s about purpose, forgiveness, love and joy.

Living a good life is about finding your purpose. Purpose doesn’t have to be grand or world-changing. Purpose is often found in the small things: loving your family well, showing kindness to a stranger, making art, planting a garden, raising a child, being a friend who listens.

Purpose is living in alignment with what matters most to you. It’s choosing every day to spend your energy on what truly matters, not what impresses others.

One of the true key's to living a good life is the ability to forgive yourself. You can't be living your best life if your constantly punishing yourself for your mistakes. We’ve all got scars, regrets, words we wish we could take back, moments we wish we could re-do. One of my favorite sayings is, "Dig a ditch, build a bridge, and get over it." It's time . . . it's simply time to forgive yourself.

What about asking others to forgive you? A good life means looking in the mirror and accepting that you've done things that have hurt people. Why do we wait until we're on our death bed to ask someone to forgive us. People who are dying often seek closure by asking forgiveness. What about sucking up the courage and humble yourself now and say, "I'm sorry."

At the end of the day, a good life is always about love. Did you love well? Did you let yourself be loved?

Love your people. Love your pets. Love the ones who know your worst stories and still choose to stick around. Love the ones who wag their tail when you walk in the room. Love the ones who make you laugh. Love like your life depends on it—because in the end, it does.

Living a good life means finding your joy. What is it that makes your heart sing? Everybody finds joy differently. People find joy in the outdoors, reading books, engineering, accounting, pets, travel and a myriad of different things. When I talk with people who are depressed and burnt out I often ask them what brings them joy? After a while they can identify something. I then ask them when was the last time they did this thing? For some it's been years. You can't live a good life if you're not living your joy. You don't want to die unhappy, You want to come to your death feeling a sense of happiness. You find happiness when you've lived your joy. 

If you want to know how to live a good life I believe you need to take care of your soul. It's like finding your joy. Taking care of your soul is opening your deepest self up to the wholeness of creation. You need to take time to plumb the deep. Have you spent time contemplating, journaling, attending sacred services. Taking care of your soul means you've found what's sacred for you and you honor it and hold it dear. It doesn't mean you have to read the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita, or some other sacred text. Personally, I find these holy books sacred. You might feel the same about a volume of poetry, a book of sayings, or a teaching of some great elder you respect. When you do some of these things, your soul stays healthy and whole.

There's no one answer to the question, "Have I lived a good life." Ultimately everyone has to decide for themselves whether they've lived a good life.

All I know is if you're reading this, there's still time to find the answer. 


Check out my website www.stephenpoosbensondeathcoach.com

Please feel free to refer me to people who are confronting their death. It's why I'm here, to walk people home. 

Blessings,

Steve 

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